the art of dying well

My son's two hamsters died yesterday due to unknown causes. Little Boo was asleep and missed the disposal of the tiny bodies. She is old enough to understand what dead is and really wanted to see them when she learned the next morning. My son spent the day mourning little Russie and Psyco Hamster.

Later, I was listening to talk radio as I was helping six year old Boo clean her room. It was an interview with a palliative care proffessional who worked with children. She saw her job as helping children to die well.

She said that one basic worry no matter how young was that people would forget them. She and the dying child would set up homework for family members. There would be speical days (named for example Chris Day) where it would be the job of that family member to remember the person after he/she died. Say on Chris' birthday, family would wear his favourite colour, have his favourite food for supper, and remember him.

As a person who does not believe in an afterlife, this struck a cord with me, especially with my small daughter bouncing on the bed near me. This is a tangible way to keep some part of the person who is gone. I wanted to write this down so that I would remember this. I would like to start this as a tradition in our family and thought the idea may slip away if I didn't put it to pen, so to speak.